Wednesday, 13 February 2013
I'm a single girl, so I suppose I shouldn't love Valentines Day as much as I do. It doesn't seem like it is cool to admit to liking it, even if you ARE in a relationship. But I love it; I do. It's a day to celebrate LOVE, what's not to like?
I've been a fan since secondary school, when it was one of the highlights of the year. It was something we all got totally wrapped up in, the talk of the playground for weeks, sending cards to your crush, and waiting to see if anyone would send you one. Then the endless post-mortems and analysis. Not that I had moch to contribute by way of raw material - the only school valentine I ever got was when I was in sixth form, and was from a really cute lad - in FIRST year! (erm, I believe this translates as year 7 in new money). Ironically, he will now be too old for me to consider dating him :-O
<GRATUITOUS BRAGGING ALERT> Then, my first year at physio school, I had the Valentine's haul to end all Valentine's hauls. I got six, yup, count 'em, SIX Valentines cards. All from different people. One of whom I hadn't even snogged.<End of gratuitous bragging>
So I know it can be done, and this contributes to the completely irrational hope that I have every year, this one included, that I will get a shed-load of cards. Or even ONE. But being completely honest, I don't have the inclination to put in the effort required. Those six cards represented six men cultivated over a good six months - two of them for two years. Like spinning plates, it's a skill, it takes practice and effort, and it can all too easily come crashing down around your ears. As it did for me eventually, in the car-crash that became known as the 'why no-one at Nottingham University is speaking to me' incident.
Of course, there's been loads of years where I've been part of a couple, and I love the whole 'being treated' aspect of it. So what if your bloke is lovely all year round anyway? It's still nice to have an official day when you know you will be getting some flowers and choccies, when you can treat eachother and celebrate your relationship. And if your man is a bit of a duffer when it comes to romance, it's a chance for him to get with the programme and give you a card and some petrol station flowers. They all count, and the love expressions can be as individual as a couple is - there's no law says it has to cost loads of money. Love on Valentine's Day might be a cup of coffee and a chocolate heart, or it might be a dedication on the radio, or it might be rose petals and a rumpled duvet - there are no rules, there's no need to enter the commercialised game if you don't want to.
But this year, I am once again alone:
It doesn't bother me - I'm alone but not lonely. I'm not the sort of person who feels bad seeing couples in love and showing it - quite the reverse. It makes me happy to think that there are happy people out there, that there are people who are loving and who are loved. That all around the world are genuine loving couples, and despite all that has happened, that this can happen to me too. And even if it doesn't, well, it doesn't matter. I've been in love and been loved. I've had my lovely Valentines Days, I've done the meals, the champagne, the shagging in the graveyard. :-) Now it's someone else's turn.
And lest I should forget that there are WAY worse things than being single, I remind myself of the last valentine card that Steve gave me. 'With love from your Boyfiend.' How very right he was - and how very much happier I can be, now I am fiend-less! This is my happy year, and tomorrow will be one of my happiest days, even if I do have to be content with nothing more than my Dogs Trust sponsor dog Valentine.
Whoever you are with (pets and cuddly toys included), wherever you are, have a wonderful Valentine's Day, and SPREAD THE LOVE :-)